Learning to Stop Reading Minds

People in relationships where there are problems often feel that someone can read their minds. This can be frustrating when we think that someone is not meeting our needs and we think that they should know what we are feeling and what we need in the relationship.

Mind reading and projection are two things in relationships that can cause them not to work because they cause people to not communicate correctly.

Projection is when you do not really know, or you assume what someone needs and feels but you are wrong and mind reading is when you get frustrated because you think that the other person should know what you mean or should be able to “read your mind.”

When you use these two things in a relationship, it can cause the other person to have hurt feelings and cause them to not feel the love and compassion that they deserve.

When you want to know what someone is feeling or thinking, do not try to read their mind, have them to actually tell you what they are thinking and doing so that things can be better.

Knowing Who You Are

You have to understand who you are and what you want in your life. You need to expect certain things with your thoughts, wants, emotions and needs and you need to know exactly what these things are for you. This means that once you know who you are and what you want that you can set boundaries that can help you to communicate your desires with someone else. You cannot set boundaries if you don’t know what you want.


You need to take time to know and understand what you are feeling. Pay attention to your emotions and where they come from. Learn to stop trying to read minds and use projection but once you understand your emotions fully, you can learn to express them verbally to someone else and not expect them to guess.


It is up to yourself to make sure that you are taking time to understand what you are feeling and why. We often get misunderstood because we expect others to know what we want and then we react, and it causes conflict. If you learn to reflect on your life and you understand where you are coming from then you can express these things openly and not confuse others.


People often believe that it is wrong to set boundaries, or they are afraid that someone will leave them or be angry at them. You are not responsible to how someone responds to you when you are hurting or when you are upset. Learn to be compassionate with yourself when you are going through hard times.

No One is the Same

People are not the same no matter who they are. There are people around you all the time that are different than you and that means that they do not feel and think the same way that you do.

Learn to accept people as different than you and let them love you and care for you the way that they do without you thinking that it should be what you are feeling and doing.


Everyone wants to be happy and to be understood but this takes both people in a situation. You need to learn to be able to express your feelings and the other person needs to make sure that they are not jumping to conclusions or trying to tell you what you are feeling. If you are not able to handle a certain relationship, talk to a professional and get the help that you need.